I love that you love "assault", it took a while to choose the right word and there were many options, but in the end this one was the one I found most pleasing. Should I warn for non-con use of a pillow? ;-)

You know, I've been thinking a lot about what should happen next. In my mind, John puts the t-shirt on his pillow, calls it Sherllow, and makes sweet, slow, tender love to it. It would make a great story at their wedding:

"How we met each other? Well, we were both fucking the same pillow and..."

(Guess what I'm about to do? Yes, I'm heading to your journal to read the hell out of your new fic.)